Saturday, February 11, 2012


I’m trying to play Words With Friends and I’m instant messaging a guy friend from a couple years back.  But the things I had hoped to be able to do, the life I was dreaming of when I knew him looks like it will never be.  Its like my Words game.  I don’t have any vowels now, so I have nothing to say.

I sat today for about 3 minutes, and when I got up, my back ached.  I walked around the house and then went for a walk outside.  Up and down the hill, walking out the pain with tears in my eyes and prayers sent up to God.  “What will my life be like?”  “I just want to go out to eat with friends and be able to sit in a Bible study or in church.”  “Lead me, provide a way for me.”

Then the verse, “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you,” declares the Lord, “thoughts to prosper you and not to harm you.  To give you a future and a hope” (Jeremiah 29:11).  Over and over I sang the song in my head and walked and walked.

When I got home, I realized that forgetting everything I can’t do, God gave me the ability to take an energetic walk outside.  Something I couldn’t do before.  So forgetting everything I can’t do, I hold onto that tonight.  It was a beautiful gift.  A walk outside, with a bit of sun, on a not too cold day. 

And not every day will be like today.

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