Friday, March 16, 2012
L4-L5 Disc Troubles
I found out at physical therapy this week that the pain I have been experiencing whenever I bend forward even slightly probably is my L4-L5 disc. Just as I suspected. We "might" be able to get the pain out of my legs. It sounds like I may never be able to sit down without searing pain running down my legs.
This is something I know I asked at least one surgeon. If they do an ALIF only, and jack up the disc space more in the front, doesn't that force the next disc out the back? It is common sense.
I am dealing with anger and hopelessness. There are people that I have chosen to forgive for things they did wrong or might have done wrong that brought me to where I am now. And the anger? I was reading the book of Jonah this week. At one point he tells God that, yes, he is angry. Even unto death.
That is exactly the way I have been feeling. But God reminds him that the good in his life (specifically, a shady plant) was not of his making, so he shouldn't be angry when it is taken from him. And furthermore, there were people who needed to be saved, and that was more important.
On Wednesday I was listening to a sermon online about suffering well. Paul was arrested for telling others about Jesus, and then shipwrecked. But he looked out for the needs of others instead of worrying about his problems or growing bitter. The pastor pointed out that it is in those dark times that a Christian's light really shines. People don't pay much attention when a Christian lives well in prosperity. But when a Christian is suffering and still trusts in God and serves others, it makes an impact.
I'm down, and up, and down, down, down. But I know I can trust God and His promises. Abide in Him and suffer well!